Episode #10 Body Image & Clothing

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You're listening to wait a minute with Beth and Jessica episode 10

body image is one of my favorite topics because shifting it is paramount to breaking away from diet Coke. Learning how to embrace a neutral or positive body image, I believe will shift the entire universe one mindset at a time. If everyone loves their body or at least likes it, or it can be neutral, then diet culture has to change because people will stop buying into it with no demand.

The supply has to change, hopefully for the betterment of all of our mental and physical. Imagine if collectively we could all feel good about ourselves and our bodies. What does that world look like? How are we showing up differently in our lives? Where are we spending our energy? If not obsessing over fixing our body What would you do now instead of waiting until you reach a goal weight, would you buy new clothes, apply for that dream job? Start dating confidently, start a family, go on that vacation dream and do bigger things for yourself. What would you do? What are you holding yourself back from doing right now?

Because you believe you can't do it until your body. These are hypothetical questions right now, but I hope that at the end of this podcast, you will answer these for yourself and be able to recognize that your body is good. Now you are worthy of everything you want right now, and you don't have to change your body to get it.

And most importantly, you don't have to change your body to feel something differently. We seek a new job partner or even close because we are looking to feel some kind of way. We want to feel better, more confident, more connected, more loved, and diet culture has made us believe that is our body holding us back from feeling what we want.

You have seen the headlines feel better. Now get the body you want do this for that. And now we know that it's total BS. You can feel all of that right now by changing what you think about your. Yes, you are a body image is simply what you believe about your body. What you think about your body and yourself is all that matters.

Not the number on the scale and not the size of your clothes. Not a chart or graph can tell you how to feel. You get to own and decide what you make. All of that mean. You decide how you want to feel for. I find this all very empowering, but I know it can really feel counterintuitive at first because you're taught that not trying to fix yourself, looks like giving up, but that doesn't have to be true either.

I know. Why is it about that? Feels like you're giving up such the wrong idea. Well, we hope that today's conversation will continue to help ease fears about letting go of talking negatively about your body and help you begin your journey to thinking differently about your body and ultimately yourself.

You can. The world a better place by learning how to like yourself. It's real today, we have a special guest Elizabeth Elias. Elizabeth is a wardrobe consultant, and we have her with us today because one place where body image issues show up for many of us is in the dressing room. I think we've all experienced some negative thinking while trying on jeans or looking for that perfect outfit for a special occasion.

It seems that negative body image is amplified under these circumstances because in the process, we are somewhat forced to see ourselves more closely like a three-way mirror with maybe the worst lighting ever. Yes. Can we start with getting real lighting and mirrors and dressing rooms and then I bet things would.

Really shape up for people. Well, who else better to talk about body image and someone who sees it out in the world on a very daily basis. Welcome Elizabeth. Thank you ladies. I'm so happy to be here and to be discussing this topic, I'm really passionate about it. And can't wait for the conversation. Yes, we are so excited to have you here.

We've actually done some things with you in the past on your social media and things. And so we're so excited to be able to bring you on to our platform now. So, yay. Yes. Okay. So when clients come to us and they desire to lose weight, one reason is that they want to fit into their clothes or feel good in their clothes.

They often express that they feel defeated if they need to buy a size up, just to be comfortable. The discomfort of wearing clothes that are too small is better than going up a size. For some reason, we find that maybe they have. Bought new jeans in years, or they haven't gone swimming in years because they keep putting it off until they get back to the size that they feel that is good to them and their minds.

It says quick fix, but in reality, there's a lot of time that's passing. And in that time they're blocking themselves from experiencing feeling good in their clothes right now. And the life that they can live in them. Is this something you come across and how might you address it? Yes, definitely. I say wear it now.

Don't wait. Often I hear people say to me, I'll call you when I lose 10 or 20 pounds. That's so frustrating to me because I don't think it's necessary to lose the weight, to make ourselves feel good as a wardrobe consultant. I can show you right now how to dress yourself in a more flattering way to feel.

Often working with clients who are transitional and their body, they're trying to hide themselves or wear baggy clothes, the wrong fit, the wrong colors. And so on. My current strategy is more about highlighting other positives with their style while educating them on how to dress their body, not playing too much into the discussion of weight.

Yeah, I think what's interesting is like, we're always kind of in this transitional phase, like our bodies are always changing and yes, there are some phases with bigger, natural fluctuations, but diet culture basically has brainwashed us to believe that we can always be 10 pounds thinner than we are no matter where we are.

And I don't know, I just, this belief system so unhelpful and is the 10 pounds are really the reason they don't feel good. Yeah. Well, we know that it's not because in some cases. And a lot of cases, actually, people diet and do lose the 10 pounds, but then they are still experiencing the discomfort in their life and in their clothes.

So it's really not addressing the root of this comfort is why they are. They stay in that diet culture cycle and they are forever believing. They need to lose 10 pounds. So we'll channel that stagnant frustration into our cellulite, the body fat in our arms that are in the wrong place, but we know that it all runs so much deeper.

So addressing the root and leading with our heart is the solution. And there's a lot of new thoughts that come with that. Elizabeth. I've known you for a long time and I've always admired how you prioritize being put together. It's clearly something you enjoy and it makes you feel good. Even through the pandemic.

I would be zooming with you and you'd be in your matching PJ's and pearls. So who are you dressing for? I simply just dress for myself. And I've been doing that for years, even when I was in college and everyone's just wearing t-shirts and shorts, I would get up and get myself dressed. And I just, I learned that I do that to make myself feel confident and I just go the extra mile, just so I feel great about myself.

It's amazing. I get into like, phases of it. So I'll be like, yeah, I'm going to do this. It's going to be so good. And then I just like do my hair and I'm like, that was great. My mainwell t-shirt and jeans, but you know, for me, always, for me, it's actually. So even if I'm not feeling awesome and my clothes I'm feeling tired and my outfit is not as cute as I would desire it to be.

I always will pull it together with an amazing pair of shoes. So yesterday I went shopping and like neon, Nike, air Jordans or something crazy like that. Athletic, boring clothes. Yeah. I, I do dress for myself, but I'm going to be honest. It's not that I'm dressing every single day. There's definitely days that I have a casual day where it's just a t-shirt and jeans too, but I put energy towards not making that every single day.

So, and I like that shoes are your thing best. So you own it and you go with the neon shoes and I think that's great. And it, and that's for you and what you like. So I think it's. I have a question about like how some people will be like, well, they're still struggling with one feeling good in their clothes, but to also like that energy that they feel like it will take from looking more put together, but you are amazing at accessories.

So can you tell us a little bit about how sometimes accessories can really help. And that transition phase, right? Of like being where you're at comfortable with your clothing. I have found that women that talk about that they fluctuate with their weight. What they will spend a little bit more on or buy more regularly is shoes and accessories because they feel like that doesn't your size.

Does it matter with that? And good for them, if that makes them feel great. So here's the deal. Most people, if they're reaching out to me, they're wanting to look more stylish and your accessories are like the icing on the cake. And so this challenge with that is, is it takes a little bit more effort. So you have to get yourself dressed and then you have to go that extra mile to do the accessories too, but you don't have to go all out.

One pair of neon shoes, where most people are wearing white shoes or whatever, that's a small thing, but that makes a difference. So I think access playing with accessories is an easy way to change one look and can change it a lot of different ways. So there's a lot you can do with excessive. Cool. I know that's not exactly what we were talking about today, but it can be really powerful for people are like, oh, this is going to take a lot of energy.

Well, I know that than I have had conversations about, like, you might buy like a really cute trendy jumpsuit that you love. Maybe your husband is like, what are you wearing all the time? And I know some people are like, well, I don't want to wear this because my husband won't find it sexy. And I dunno, I feel like that is something that Beth and I have talked about a few times, but I, in general, I feel like as long as I feel good in it, then I'm usually getting the most compliments out of something versus just trying to choose something that somebody else might like.

But I don't know. Does that ever come up for you, Elizabeth? I mean, I definitely hear that. I hear that often from many different people that, oh, I can't wear this because my husband won't like this or what it does. It doesn't matter what it is. To me. It goes back to that question you asked me earlier is like, why do you get dressed?

I truly do it for myself, but I do realize that you have to be confident in your own style to not care. What, whether it's your husband, your girlfriend, your mother, your daughter. I hear that often too. My daughter thinks I look silly and I just, it doesn't matter what it is. I think. If you are attracted to something and you're drawn to something and it makes you feel really good.

If it brings you joy, if you want to use the Marie Kondo phrase, then I would say, go with it and it doesn't have to be practical. And that's really what it should be doing is making you happy. So yeah, love it. Good advice. Okay. What would you like to see more of from women in general as related to their wardrobe?

Well, I think I tend to be a little bit more sensitive and red flags go up. When I hear people kind of put their bodies down in the dressing room and I would really like the norm to be more like, I look great in this I'll look fantastic. Gosh, I can't choose between all the clothes because I loved it and everything, but I would love for us as a society to move that way.

And it's more of a, in a healthy way. I think that we have made a lot of great progress with positive body image, but I definitely feel there's more work to do. And that depart. Yeah, I would love to look at a pair of high-waisted elastic pants and a crop top and not cringe at how I would look in it. I would probably still not purchase either.

Even if I thought I would be able to quote unquote, pull it off, but I just don't love this style. So there's that. But part of it is truly, I don't care for how that style might highlight my lower belly pooch that I've had. Entire life and would feel like the mom Jean sketch. So there's still, still all, we all have work that we need to do.

Well. I mean, we grew up in that time. So like, we're, even though we're talking about this, we're not immune to. Our own body image struggles. Right? So it makes sense that sometimes we come at an outfit or a style like that, I, or that perspective pops up first. And I asked, I don't think that we have to love everything.

Again, it's coming back to, well, if I have this awareness and I don't have to beat myself up, like you, you have that awareness about three you're like, okay, I know why I'm thinking this way, but you're on some not that means second voice is like coming back behind it. The awareness is key. Exactly what you said.

And I think not enough people have that awareness and we'll break it down and go through that thought process when they are trying on clothes, it's just beat myself up. And that's really what I want to shift. Oh, what's a trend. I should be able to wear it like or whatever or anything. Like I was like, why can't I wear trendy clothes?

Well, okay, so you just because it's Trinity does not mean you need to wear it and just because it's, this is you don't need to wear it. Correct. Right. And so I don't think that everything looks good on everybody. I think you should know your body and your colors and all of that. But so when I say what the blank statement.

Everyone to say, oh, I look good in that. I mean that within reason, and that you are wearing, putting things on your body, that's flattering and crop tops are not for everyone. So I don't want to come across and reasonable with that statement. Yeah. Yeah. I like sometimes a crop top and it has nothing to do with my belly.

It literally makes my torso look six inches long. So it's a very strange, they're like proportion on me. So it's not from people out there saying that I. That I should be able to wear a crop top has nothing to do with my body. It is that if you pair that with a hydrate, I look like I've got a six course, some strange, lower body reversion.

So, all right. And I guess it's like the crop top is for anyone who wants to wear a crop top, the flip side to that situation. It's like, if you want to wear it and you love it, wear it. So yeah, that awareness. I agree. Yes. So let's get into a little bit of the how Jessica can you share? Yeah. So I have this like concept or I'll call it maybe a practical tool that'll cause a of, and I were talking about this and she's like, yes, this is a tool.

So I call it the thought shop. And it's a xAPI like spelled S H O P P. It's fancy, it's invisible, but it's fancy. So it's like a dress store in my mind where you go and you try on thoughts and beliefs about yourself. So we show up to the thought shop with our old mean girl thoughts about ourselves. And hopefully we can walk out of this invisible store with some flashy, new thoughts that we can keep wearing as often as possible.

Just like your favorite. So you can bring these new thoughts into a real dressing room, or when you're checking yourself out in the mirror or any time you have an old stinky thought that drives the negative feelings. And just a reminder of the reason why these thoughts are so valuable is because thoughts drive our actions.

So when you feel in the dumps about yourself, what do you do? Most people go into over-planning mode and then they actually don't do anything. Right. A lot of us overeat or overdrink and then time just passes and suddenly those genes that you wish you could wear again, aren't even in fashion. So the first step I suggest is taking inventory or start building awareness of your stinker thinking.

Right? So we had just talked about that awareness, like notice how you're talking to yourself. Pause. And he really cannot move forward until you're facing the truth of the relationship with herself. And that's hard to do. And that's why I love coaching. It's really my job as a coach to help you see what your brain is doing.

And so if you're not aware of those stinker thinker, thoughts come at me, I'll help you see. Then the next process I know is to really learn how to process these emotions that you're holding on to with the original thoughts. So if you are feeling stagnant in guilt, shame, anger, grief, sadness, loneliness, unworthiness, we can't just like shove that down and like junk to positive thinking.

We have to really figure out how we're going to process and walk through that together. And then the fun part is figuring out what do you want to believe about yourself? When you think about yourself as the person you wish you were. And let's just say for the sake of this conversation, that maybe she is actually 10 pounds lighter, but what else, how does she show up?

Is she put together? How does she talk to herself? What is she doing differently in her life? And how does she nourish herself? What thoughts does she think that helped her do all of these things? This is when you walk into the thought shop and try out all the thoughts until you find at least one that you can wear on a daily basis.

So these new thoughts help you take actions that create this future desired you. I love this so much, and I think it's genius it's tools in your toolkit to shift your thinking and hopefully develop a new healthy habits around your personal body image. And. Hope everyone adopts these tools. And I think it's, I think it's fantastic.

Yes. So since you've been a good amount of time with individuals, how do you work with people to like, would there be something in this that you would be like, oh, I feel comfortable, like sharing, like how to use these types of thoughts. Instead of thinking negatively, like let's use a new thought shop while we're shopping.

Let's try on some new thoughts. Like, does that seem like something that would be a challenge for you? Or like, is that something you feel comfortable? I love it. So when I'm working with clients, whether I'm bringing clothes to their house and doing fitting session at their house, or we're out shopping and addressing.

Usually I'll have everything ready to go. And then I'll do kind of like a pep talk in the beginning, like, okay. So you're not going to love all the clothes are, and this is what the process is going to look like. And then I usually say we are aiming to only. Choose the pieces that you absolutely love, because a lot of times, if we're looking for a black dress, people are in a hurry and this kind of works and I'll just check it off and move on.

So I'm always saying, we don't just want to check it off. You want to put it on and love it. So I think this would be another little thing to weave into my spill in the beginning. And just say, I also want to introduce the thought of. And I would probably, for me as a professional, maybe not do that for everyone, but maybe someone that I think might need a little extra cheering on.

Right. I might say that. Or sometimes I'm like, well, sometimes I need that for myself too. And it's definitely something I'm going to incorporate into my practices when I'm working with clients, but also just with friends and family and whoever. So it's like with anything new, you have to. Do it a couple of times and create those habits.

And so I think with anything that you're shifting, you got to figure out a way to make it work and work into your habits. So I love it. And I mean, just for being your friend, Elizabeth, I think he really lead in this by example of just your normal positive outlook. I mean, I hardly ever hear you. Say negative things about your body.

And so I'm sure that is rubbing off on clients, because even if they are saying things in the dressing room, you're not reinforcing them, right. Like you said earlier, we just kind of shift the focus. It's a fine line for me. So I do love to lead with positive energy, but also. I want my clients to trust me and not think that I'm just blowing smoke up their butt, like a normal sales person.

Like, oh, you look good in everything. No, I'm going to be honest and say, well, that's not very flattering. And obviously I do that in a professional way, but yeah, I think it's important how you influence the people that you're around and that you do it. Constructive positive way, but a way that builds someone up, because that is my goal with the work that I do is to build people up and help them feel confident.

And so it's a fine line in this industry. Absolutely. Jessica, I had an image when you were talking about throwing those stinker of thoughts away was so they were stinky and it's like, oh, it's like clothes and you're in your closet and you can just throw them. Laundry basket wash them and they'll come out totally new and clean.

I was, I was like, wouldn't that be amazing. If we could dig off our thoughts and wash them, like we do our clothes until they don't stink. Anyway. That's great. That's a great way to visualize. Oh, that would be so. I think it's great to have a visual, like whatever helps you process that let's do laundry. Oh, okay.

So how does one know if the thought they've tried on is going to work for them? Yeah, I mean, in a way it's kind of like what Elizabeth was saying. You can't just check it off like this thought I'll do, like, it really needs to resonate. And I just listened to this podcast episode with Juul and she said something that really landed for me.

And honestly, I had no idea how much I love to Juul until you listen to this episode, but she talks about how there's really just two states of being you are either. Banding or contracting, like, if you think about how you feel in your body, you're either like feeling expansive and open or you're kind of feel like tense and tripled up.

Right. And I think a lot of us are living in a contracted state a lot of the times because we're stressed out and busy and we do have thoughts that are not necessarily neutral or positive all the time. When you try on a thought, it should physically have some sensation of expansiveness, just like you would, if you were trying on a dress that you loved, you know, instead of feeling like your shoulders are hunched over that you have to hide something on your body.

It should like open you up. You should feel like you can walk into a room confidently wearing it. There's like a softness in your gut. Um, in your heart center and some people will say, yeah, fake it till you make it. And then it can work with lots of practice. But I just think it's better to try on a bunch of thoughts until you can really find something that lands for you.

Is there a thought you could share with me to give to my friends or clients around. Beth. I'd like you to do the honors of sharing. One of our favorite neutral thoughts that we offer often to people. Yeah. This one is amazing and can be really emotional for some people, even though it's so simple, but a really powerful neutral thought is I have a body.

And the other component of that when you can really bring to it is being able to look at yourself in the mirror. You can be fully closed. It can be just your face. It can be any component of it, but it's like looking at yourself and saying, I have a body and. Being fully aware of that. And I like it. I like this thought because one of the things that happens is we live in our heads so much and we're so disconnected from our bodies, particularly if we don't care for.

What our body might look like, or we're criticizing it a lot. It kind of starts to pull the two components of us together. So it pulls our head together. It pulls our heart, become one again. And we start to be like, okay. And not feeling, trying to run as far away from the body as possible by living up in our head.

I wonder what it would be like, Elizabeth, if you were in a try-on situation, what do you call those? Like a fitting? What would it be like when somebody is like, oh, I hate the juggle on my arms or whatever somebody is making a comment about their body. I'm just curious. I wonder what it would, how it would go if you were just like, aha, you have a body, like

I wouldn't die. Can I be there when you say that for the first time we can record it. I should try that. So you're just saying. Basically, I say the same statement. Every time they go down a rabbit hole and they're like, I don't like my butt. I don't like my arms. I don't like this. And every time I just say, yes, you have a body.

Yes. It's like you ask you say the same statement and see how long it takes to get out of that. Yeah. And so they're like, yep. This is a debt. She's not giving me any sympathy, Joe, because it's not negative. And you're not reinforcing anything that they said. I don't know. It just being, maybe not with a client situation, but maybe that's something you try on a friend or a family member.

Um, see, I'm going to try it next time. I hear, I want to try it too. I just trying to think if I could think of anybody that comes to mind that actually does that. And I don't think it happens so often with me because I don't typically engage in that conversation so much where it's like, I can think of maybe.

Groups of women or men. It doesn't matter that they perpetually go round and round with each other, feeding these same thoughts, these negative thoughts. I don't engage in it too much. I really can't think of anything right now, but I'm going to try to remember that if it does come up to just do that neutral thought and see where that, how that goes.

Let's all try it out. We'll reconvene. I love it. Okay. So, Jessica, do you have a thought you are carrying around with you right now? Yes, actually, I just picked this one up in a therapy session and it is, I am worthy of good fortune because I've been working on comfortably receiving and I could be anything it'd be receiving help from my family and regards to care-taking of my son.

It can be help from Beth with business stuff or whatever it is. There's something about receiving that is currently feeling. Very challenging for me. So this thought helps me openly accept good things my life, and really practice gratitude because in my mind, I'm like, I want to be grateful and practice gratitude, but I haven't been as actively practicing it as much as I would.

Like, it's not been a huge priority for me. So I've adopted this thought. I love this thought. I try to think it first thing in the morning, whenever I can. I don't know. What about you, Beth? Do you have a thought or a mantra that you're kind of carrying in your pocket with you right now? It's all just temporary.

That's a good one. Oh yeah, because there's a lot of things kind of going on. I'm having some hip pain and so I'm like, it's just temporary. I'm having preteen child lows again, just temporary. And so a lot of the things and just some extra busy-ness in life and like just temporary, because I tend to swing.

And the woe woe is me of it all. And so I have really been working on it's just temporary. That's good. Yeah, because it applies to just about everything. I mean, it is everything is temporary. And actually it was funny because awhile ago I think I was talking to Josh about the diet stuff and I was like, yeah, diets are just, you know, temporary results.

But then he was like, well, yeah, but like everything is temporary, like true. Yeah. Not wrong. Elizabeth, what about you? Do you have a mantra you're working on right now or that you carry around with you in general? Gratefulness is always the top. When I'm so overwhelmed with everything, I always think, well, I'm overwhelmed with these things that I had hoped for or had prayed for.

And now they're true. And now I'm going to weave in which you say, Jett, Beth, that they're temporary. And so I always feel better when I go back to being thankful for all the things that I have right now while it's busy and overwhelming. It's I try to go back to gratitude. Amazing Elizabeth, we're going to switch topics just a little bit.

I mean, we're in the same thing, but yeah. Are you hearing the voices of very many people who are already confident in their body and their relationship with food? Like what does that look like in your world? Okay. So I think that there are many people who are already living in this confident. The people that are living in this confidence are just out there living and not necessarily talking about it.

I definitely know friends, family, clients that are confident in their skin, their body, their wardrobes, their careers, however, you don't hear their thoughts and comments about their body. As much as those with the negative thoughts. That's because it's neutral for those confident individ. We can always use more people setting a positive example.

And that's what I set out to do. And my love yourself campaign. I started this campaign a few years ago where I highlighted individuals that are living an authentically positive body image. And I do want to just point out that it doesn't necessarily mean that any of these people are. A hundred percent perfect at this, or have never had to work at it or have it had some negative thoughts, but overall they are thinking about what they're saying and really, really try to love on themselves.

So if you guys, if anybody's interesting in finding out about this campaign, you can find it on my website. Elizabeth Elias consulting.com and Elias is E L I a. And also Jessica and Beth are on there a few times. You're on there a few times. Jessica is on there by herself. And anyway, my goal is just to continue to put out into the world messages around positive body image.

And this campaign is just like, it's just one way. And I'm also just trying to do that one day, one client at a time. And you kind of said a keyword, which is perfect, right? Like there is no perfect. Even with body image, even with a thought shop, it's still always a practice and a work in progress. There's always going to be an outfit that I don't think is going to look good on me.

And that's okay. It just doesn't mean that I'm like hating myself for it. Right. Or how can we. Build our awareness collectively and just start shifting the conversation so that we're focusing more on what makes us feel good and not what makes us feel bad. Yeah. I love the other thing that you said, which is that when people are walking around more in owning themselves, their body, their awards, You don't really hear much about it.

You tend to hear more about it from those that are thinking negatively. So it's like, there's that internal validation versus when we're thinking negatively about ourselves, it's like we're seeking external validation. And so just kind of have talked about this before. It's like, we need that internal because we can't rely on the external to give us those what we need.

That is so true is finding that happiness within and yet it's so hard for so many. That's why the work that you guys are doing and these podcasts and introducing new ideas, the thought shop, I mean, these are all little, like we said earlier, a little tools in your toolkit, but it really can be a challenge for people to shift their mindsets around.

Yeah. And I think it's a challenge because external validation feels awesome, but so does internal. Yes. And internal feels even better. Of course. Right. But it's like, if we don't have that internal. Yes. And we're so used to the validation externally, I think that's why it's such a hard shift because we keep thinking, like, I have to figure out how to dress to get these compliments.

Like I need. This validation, but when you can figure out like, no, I like what I like, like that feels so much better. Absolutely. I saw something on Instagram the other day. It was somebody that said I went to old Navy to try on jeans. And the lady that gave me my dressing room says, if they don't fit, it's not you.

It's the jeans. And I was like, oh, what if we all had somebody at like all day we'd target being like pre prepping people before they go into. Bad lighting over. And the sales lady was like, all the Jean styles have changed. Like every different style has a different size that goes with it and it's not consistent.

And so the person was like, oh, I wish I could hear that. Good thing to see on Instagram as we were preparing for this podcast. Yeah, it's true though. The sizing, I feel like they have shifted so much and people are so attached to the sizes. I'm like, you got to just throw that out the window. Oh yeah, absolutely.

I don't come in with any of that a long time ago and a long time ago. I don't remember when it was because anything prior to the pandemic feels like ages ago, but you did a post on our, I think our social or it was a blog post. And you had posted like, here are four shirts I bought in medium of all different brands size, like, like just held them up.

And they were like, If we're all different. Totally drastic. Yeah. And there were the same general style, so it's not even like they were, you know, they were dresses. They're all dresses from Nordstrom. And I remember because I ordered them online. You just have no idea what you're going to get when you order things online.

And yes, these four dresses came to me and I felt like. Goldie locks one dress. I could not even get over my like shoulders or hips. It was just like so small. And then one was just, I was swimming in it. And you kind of expect that when it's like meat, like small, medium, large, because at least those range a few sizes, there's usually a little bit more give and take in that versus like a number size.

But yeah, I think I can wear like, When in number sizes, I can probably go between three different numbers on average. There's like, not just like, oh, I'm always this size. Like it doesn't exist. So I try to encourage people like, so what if you have to go up a size, like if it looks great on you and you feel good on it, like who cares?

Yeah. And Elizabeth, this is kind of like a good topic for you to help us understand this a little bit more too. So for example, I noticed this. Even it is frustrating and pants that are by technically wayside. So like a 28, but you try on AGS 28 versus old Navy's 28. Sometimes you're just. I'm like hoping it gets above my knees.

And then the other times it's like my fit or it might be a little big, but it's supposedly by that, like waist size. And so what is up with that? You guys probably, you're not gonna like my answer, but. I generally know that some of those differences brand a brand, cause I shop all the time, a coated pair of jeans compared to right.

Regular pair of jeans. I typically size up a little bit. They don't have as much give, oh, this brand. They historically run really small. So you want to size up. Most people are not going to know all these things. So one either you need to rely on the salesperson. If there's anybody there that can help you.

And then two, unfortunately, you're just going to have to try on a little bit more and have an open mind. And I know that can be extremely painful, especially with jeans or a swimsuit, but we live in such a fast paced world and everyone wants everything quick. And oftentimes you try. Maybe four different pairs of jeans in the size 28, and then you don't find the right one and, and a good tailor allowed that one in there too.

I T I tailor everything, but just in this day and age, they're not consistent brand to brand. It's so frustrating, particularly when it's not by a small, medium, larger size four, six, or eight, 10, or whatever. Right. It's like, It's all just like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I tend to get lazy and we'll find a brand and, and then if it fits right and I can consistently get the same size, then I try.

And then I will just like do that for like a real long time until I get tired of their style.

Good way to do it. You know what people say? A lot of times to me is. I know this is so bad that I will find a shirt that I like and I'll buy it in every color. And I'm like, I think that's amazing. You should totally do that. If that works for you, there's nothing wrong with that. Not everyone is going to be over the top with their style and accessorize so differently every single day that doesn't work for everyone, nor does everyone's brain work for that.

So many people are wanting a capsule wardrobes because they. A very busy life and I think that's great. And if that works for you should do that. So I love that you're doing that, Beth. Yeah. My husband is like the king of it, him and his t-shirts. He's like, oh, look, this is the new blue. And I was like, I look at it.

Okay. You show me last year. It's blue assay. What the difference is, but it's essentially the same. T-shirt is just every year the blue will be slightly off or like the orangy peachy color will be different, so they just change their color. Ever so slightly on the Pantone scale, it works for him. It does.

Great, great, good examples of like, not focusing on trends and just knowing what works for you and what you love and just sticking to it. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, totally. Well, there's a parallel between what we're talking about with fashion and also the work that you to do. Knowing yourself, knowing your body, listening to yourself, it's the same thing that applies to, if you are needing to work on your health and, and same thing with dressing yourself too.

And it's kind of like the, what you guys were saying, the external validation so often. And I think that's why when people say, what are the tr trends that. Such a, it just drives me crazy because I'm like you, you're too busy trying to figure out the trends versus learn who you are and what is great for you and your own individual style.

There's another parallel too, which I think is when you described, yeah. You might try on 10 pairs and then you might have to try on 10 more before you find the pair of that bits. And that's kind of like how, when we're working with a client is I explained like, look, we're going to have to get good at like these little failures, right?

It's like these little things are not going to work. And then we're just the ideas that we're going to keep going. And we are going to stay committed until we find what we need to find. 'cause I think so often we just think like, oh, it's gonna, it's all just going to work out right away. Right. Like diet culture kind of teaches us like fast fix, just get it done right away.

If we can be committed to just taking action and keep trying, then you do get what you want from the whole situation. Eventually we are all worth investing in. And that does not have to be my financial investment. It's the time. And that again is relevant to the work you guys do and the work I do. So I always just try to encourage people to invest that time.

Each week, we keep our eyes peeled for things in the media or in real life that come from diet culture or perpetuate it in some ways they are often subtle or they are in your face. And this week segment was found by our guests, Elizabeth. So, Elizabeth, what did you find? Well, what, I'm focusing on a topic.

I can't stop seeing it everywhere and I was out shopping and at the cash register, there was a people magazine with the headline of Gwyneth most revealing interview. It says what past unhealthy relationships taught her about love, how she's trying to accept her body as she ages. It all goes south from here.

Yeah. I just, that I never, by people magazine, I had to buy it because I needed to know more about what was inside, because this, when you shared it with us, that this would to see if this would be a good one for. Or that you were like, oh, this came to my intention and things like that. And I was like, this has to be our one for the week.

We had a lot to say it was really bad about the headline. And so are you guys because you all's point was, what about the headline? My initial thought was Gladys seems to be a very confident woman. So I was really surprised that statement was there about her body image going south. Yes. Her body image going south.

I just thought, oh, I'm so annoyed. And then I went down this rabbit hole as to why that was the case. And I'm like, well, I'm sure they're trying to sell magazines. And it was, this really pulled out of context. And then. And conversation with you too. It was like, well, she's doing so many amazing things in the world.

Why is that? Not at the top of this headline and why is that? Not what they're talking about? And they do, but it's not the headline, right? Headline should be how Gwyneth is killing it at goop and motherhood and second career. Right. She's more or less, I think said she doesn't really act or do acting anymore.

And so it's like, why is the headline not going to still killing it in her second career? Because, because it's the it's driving the fear, right? It's like, The fierce Eugene, all going south from here. Like what the, Hey, and I don't know, what did they pull that one liner from? Well, to be fair, they did cover a lot of positive things that she's doing.

And this put on the inside on the inside, there really was only like two questions about it. So. Yeah. See that what's ridiculous that the editors that's what the editors picked. Right. So there were like two questions about her aging and what she's doing. And then that's what got put on the cover. Like to me, it's obviously not Glennis fault, but it's like, come on magazines.

You can do better and stopping this the cycle. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. So. After I had thought about this really good and hard for a long time. Cause I think we were like, yes, why is aging the news? Right. And then we also talked about, well, goop also sells anti-aging products. And so then I was just thinking like, it's really just all about the language.

Yes. I want to take care of myself. I love my skincare routine, but you know, it's, it shouldn't be. Fighting something that is actually natural and totally inevitable. So maybe the language is about supporting our aid or embracing it. It's not about going all downhill from here. Absolutely. What's also interesting is literally this morning on the news, they were talking about Sarah Jessica Parker.

And because they have a new sex in the city I don't season to season. Is it a season? Okay. Well basically what the headline was about today was Sarah. Jessica Parker was pushing back because people are talking smack about her. Aging. I think maybe there was some photos of her where she was in her natural hair, color gray, and there was a couple of other things.

And so people were pushing back about how dare you age. I know. And they showed this specific photo of her out, having lunch with. Andy Cohen. It was her and Andy Cohen and he has a full head of gray hair. And they're like, what? She's like, why are you guys talking about me when there's nothing said about him and that he looks smoking hot and all these things so good for her for pushing back.

Like we said earlier, we've come a long way, but we still have a lot of work to do I cringe because when you see things like that on Instagram, Like, I'm sure that's out there somewhere. If you read the comment sections, you see how many women are also yes. Commenting negatively about Sarah, Jessica Parker and her hair or whatever.

And it's like, oh yeah. Um, I feel like that's one of the things that came up for me thinking about this whole article. And now I'm mentioning that is that. Women, particularly in Hollywood, but women as a whole, we are not allowed to age gracefully like men. I know this has been brought up in Hollywood stuff lately about how, like, why does all the Hollywood men get to have their bodies go and have gray hair and things like that?

And they're doing just fine and not criticized ever, but with women, they're not quote unquote allowed to age gracefully. And they're criticized for all of it. And then I think that's part of the continuation of diet, culture, and negative self-talk. As we continue to age, we go through the hard teen and college years.

And then we do, we start to age, but we have to do hair coloring and we have to do all the anti-aging and Botox and all this other stuff and stay in the same size pants and things that we were wearing all along the way. And we get criticized. If we're like, I can't keep up with us anymore. We're frumpy or we've given up or whatever.

And I just it's like. Wow, because we've been a male dominated society for only right. And the things that you're talking about though, in Hollywood specifically, I'm hopeful that we'll see something shifting, especially since there's now so many women that are owning production companies and they're producing films.

And so it's going to be a slow shift and what we see in Hollywood kind of trickles down. And one thing I had also thought about in this. It seems almost like that as diet culture has continued to grow. So has celebrity voyeurism and obsession. Growing, and I don't know that they're specifically related.

They could be, I don't know, but I just find that, that combo of the trend very interesting. Like I would like to end diet culture and celebrity obsession, voyeurism, like, let them go have coffee in their eggs and sweats, like the rest of us and not have their photo taken and be like, what has happened.

Like they getting coffee at 8:00 AM. Like the rest of you, let them be. So I just, I would like for these two things to kinda, to kind of go away. I sure hope we gave you something new to think about today and help you take one more step on your path to freeing yourself, right? Sure, sure. To subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram at path or nutrition.

And don't forget to check out our show notes where you can find links to Elisabeth's website and more like her social media, which is so fun to follow it's a little bit Elias, E L I a S.

Instagram handle is Elizabeth Elias consulting. Yay. You next week, everyone.