Episode #8 Why Are We Attached to Labels?
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You are listening to weight a minute with Beth and Jessica episodes.
So Jessica. I eat food. What do you eat? How often do you get that question? When people know what you do for a living way more often than I would like, what about you? Same, same. Tell me what it is that you think people are looking for when they ask us that question. Well, I'm so glad you asked for one, even though I do find it a little annoying, and I do think it's kind of a boring question.
I also remain flattered that they want my advice at all. I mean, it is technically my job to help people change their relationship with food. And of course, They don't know the, how I do that with clients, but the reason why is because people want to know the way, right. They're seeking the right answer.
And for some reason that we have it, ultimately they want to know what is good for them and what will help them feel better? Diet culture has given us this message that there is some kind of right way to eat. And only if you follow it, will you obtain. Basically, what I'm hearing is that people feel like they want to know what is the best diet.
They so want to attach a label to what they eat and wave that flag, whatever it is. So we've been around a long time and long enough around a variety of folks to see the Atkins diet. South beach diet now, paleo keto vegan, raw vegan, vegetarian. And then when we were in culinary school, there were the strict macrobiotics individuals, or as fruitarians we had the engine to no oil vegan.
Combo. I mean, really this list goes on and on and in one way, it's great that people like to have a particular way of eating or have a very specific need as to why they eat that way. But if we took away the people that must eat a certain way or they will be sick and then we're left with the rest of us, why is it.
So many people want to put a defining label on their style of eating. When did we shift into these very defined camps of eating styles versus how I eat is my business. And I don't need to declare it or label it. Like everything we discuss. I feel like it's complicated and I can think of a few good reasons, but I'm sure we might leave something.
So if after this discussion, something comes in mind for you. Our listeners we'd love to hear from you and please send us a message. But the first thing that comes up for me, I think a lot of people think that they like rules. A label comes with a clear set of rules. That says, eat this, not that for some people, they think that gives them peace and makes it easier.
This is why people ask for meal plans and just want us to tell them exactly what to do. Right. I like to challenge that because within a week or two people are already looking for loopholes to the rules. A loophole for example, is on weight Watchers. Maybe your accounting points. Although I don't know that's how weight Watchers still works.
Cause I haven't been keeping tabs on it, but at least in the past people would say, oh, well this diet Cola has zero points because it has zero calories. So if I eat the entire tub, then I don't have to feel any guilt about it because I'm still following the rules. And I think that was like vegetables and stuff are free too, which is great for that.
But then people are just like eating a lot, like 10 banana. Yeah. And then I had heard about like the here at Bonanza, you know? Cool. Yeah. Yeah. And it, yeah, it just doesn't make any sense because they're not really addressing the root of the issue, you know, or we often hear the word cheap. But why design a lifestyle that you have to cheat on this practice perpetuates the distrust that you have for yourself and your relationship with food.
It's not a very healthy relationship with self the all or nothing. Thinking feels like a good idea up front, but when you apply your human ness and imperfect self, which is great, it sets you up to feel bad. And that's not what changing your relationship with. About at all. Exactly the rules allow for a part of people's brains to have something to rebel against versus being okay with the ebb and flow of just eating.
So whether it is Cuto paleo, whatever, or a meal plan that we give them, like people kind of will use. As something to rebel against if we're working with them or if they're doing it on their own with these eating labels. So it's almost like we can't hold ourselves accountable for what we eat and I have to blame the diet or the nutrition practitioner or the label that it's too hard versus.
Myself that is creating a self-reflection of, Hmm. I wonder why this is challenging, really getting into that knowing of, well, maybe this isn't for me, or maybe I haven't been able to fully explore what is it that I need right now? Or where can I start to make small changes? So it just is all or nothing.
Like you said, in that way, we look at the circumstance, which in this case is the diet as the problem, but we know that the circumstance is not ever the problem. That's correct. It's about it is a challenge. I mean, it is hard work too. Yeah. What if we stop pointing the fingers outside of us and we have to look inward.
Be that example for ourselves. It's just hard. Yeah. Which is why no one wants to do it. Then we just keep putting things outward, outward, outward, because the inside looking is so challenging. It can be ugly. It can be beautiful. All of it. All right. So ugly. Pretty, I love that ugly. Really. Also, if we think about it in many ways, many of these labels can be a disguise of diet culture, and potentially disguise of disordered eating.
So for example, not to keep hammering out paleo, which is easy, so maybe it will know about it. So for example, paleo allows one to cut out many carbs sources. So for some grains might actually not be beneficial for their body. And so it feels good to cut them out. Right. But for those looking for another diet or another way to make it okay, to cut out certain foods, that label gives them that sense that it's okay to be this way.
Permission people. Yeah. It gives them that permission that they're seeking for. Eating in a particular way and jumping on that wagon. So it can look as if look, see I'm just like you, but they're really inside spinning in that whole diet, culture and self negativity about food. So it really all comes back to what is the place we are coming from as to why we are eating a particular way.
Is it balanced and with love for our bodies? Yes. So important. Ha. Yeah. So another example would be a client. I have. That identified as beacon. And I promise I'm not hating on vegans either, but she just had so much anxiety around the fact that maybe once a month she wanted a piece of fish or occasionally a burger.
And it was usually tied to her cycle, which I thought was very intuitive of her, you know, but she shared that she felt guilt and shame when she wasn't following the rules. And we talked about the idea of not having rules to break and what if she could just be, and allow herself to ebb and flow and maybe explore the idea of being or practice not using a label at all.
Right. So for some reason, it just never occurred to her and she felt pretty liberated pretty quickly about that idea. And you know, her homework was just for her to stop using the label at all. And like, how would she answer the question? What do you. When it comes up because unfortunately it's not just us that people ask.
It's a conversation that a lot of people have all the time is talking about how you eat. So thinking about how do I, how do I answer that question really opened up a new world for her. Makes a lot of sense. To me. Another reason people might be attached to a label. Is because people out there found something that did work for them at least temporarily.
And they got so excited about it, that they had to tell everyone that they know. Right. And so then they can't go back. And when they find out it doesn't work for them, they don't, they don't want to be like, oh, I CA I don't want to tell people I'm not a vegan anymore or whatever. It's that phase is of nutrition called being the fanatic.
And so then they are all on this Quito wagon and to then, or the vegan wagon or whatever wagon they're on. Right. And they just get so excited and they're like telling everybody, oh, you should try it. I'm on it. I feel so good. And they just are telling everyone about it. And so part of the. Fear of getting off of it because it doesn't feel good for you is that you're like, oh no, I've told, I've told everybody about it.
And then they'll ask me about it. And then I'll have to tell them that I feel that there's a shame component, a little bit of a shame and the guilt along with sharing. Your passion for something. And we, we all know people who are total fanatics of something at the moment. That's right. Yeah. I just got a text from her friend who was showing me a text from her friend, trying to convince her to do the Octavia.
I think that's what it's called. I don't even know, um, plan because she was so fanatical about it and my friend was. Uh, hell no, but someone who feels fanatic about their way of eating will usually feel threatened by the idea of giving it up. So if they haven't given it up on their own, if they haven't quit already, then the idea of it being taken away can feel like such a threat.
And, you know, honestly they don't have to, we are the food please. And if you're super happy with your label, and like you said earlier, as long as it's coming from a place of love for yourself, like that's great. You don't have to not have a label. We're talking about this. Right. And also the whole thing is it's like, why don't we even label our,
why do we have to label our food?
You know, like
I remember our intro was the question of what do you eat?
And we've actually had these questions and
I tell people, I just eat food
Yeah
That really makes people. crazy
It makes them
so uncomfortable.
Right. Because I haven't attached a label. Cause even if I say I eat clean, that still is a label.
And it's like, well, what, what the hell does that even mean?
Yeah
To eat Clean?
Yeah
Which I don't all the time. Right. I made several because you are certainly I eat pizza and whatnot. But it's like, can I eat food? And I try to eat as many health forward foods as possible. So what are the things that are going to give me energy and things like that.
And that just makes people crazy because I don't have a label I just, I gowith what I need for my body. At the time I go. with What I'm capable of getting or producing or putting into my body at the time. Like the last three weeks have been a little bit hairier than usual in my life. And so I'm just doing the best that I can.
And I'm seeking vegetables and positive foods as much as possible, but. It's not all perfect. I literally had no bandwidth the other day.
And so we stopped in at Tom's market, which is a very dangerous place for me, because you can easily tend to a week's worth of groceries at whole foods. Or did I get a snack at Thompson?
Right. So it's always fun, but I was like, you know what, because we did, we stopped in for a snack. Cause then it was like, there is definitely there's no fruit or anything like that at the house right now. So I was like, let's stop in a Tom's they have the things that we need. My son who is growing, got an egg salad sandwich.
And I was like, oh, that's a nice, it's a pretty intense snack. But anyways,
so I was like, you know what? I needed to get the frozen pizza for dinner and they had salad mix. So I picked up two frozen pizzas. And a salad mix So, cause I knew that's all I could come up with for that night. And that's all the bandwidth that our family had
Yeah
I'm totally fine with that.
Right. Well, let's let's, uh, let's put them to rest our rest in peace labels.
Well, I do want to touch on something. I think this is like a positive spin on maybe why some people like labels is because it does give them a sense of belonging. It can become a part of their identity and they can find community and connection. Great. And so I say it's kind of positive because there's definitely a fine line between finding community and being in a cost.
Oh, that's, that's rich. You know, I love a cult. I know you love a coat. You did just watch one about how eating and cold did I do. I watched this HBO doc about a woman with insane hair. And you've seen it, you know, who I'm talking about. So she started a Christian weight-loss called and actually it's kind of funny cause her rules didn't start out that extreme.
In fact, in the documentary. And they mentioned that she may have been one of the early pioneers of intuitive eating because she said, God believes that all food is clean. You don't have to, you don't need to worry about what you're eating. Follow your hunger scale. It seemed kind of reasonable. I was like, well, this seems like a great idea, right?
But then from there I got super abusive and it morphed into something very niche. So like anything you can have too much of a good thing, but it makes sense why people are drawn to it because humans long to feel. Yes. I honestly had not thought about that point of view of having your keto community, your vegan community.
I mean, have you been in a keto Facebook group? No, I have not watched stuff. I'm not like trolling them all the time. Sometimes, but it is a little bit, it comes from a place of curiosity about, oh, I want to understand the mindset behind these groups, which is great. That's the thing we need to be secretly looking for a color.
That would be amazing. And then when they like interview me about like, wow, did you see this coming about Jessica? And I'll be like, yes, I know. No, I'm actually, I'm in no way vulnerable to joining a call. It's because I'm logical and kind of pessimistic and somewhere. So anyways, I think that that is a good point about, we are all seeking community in a wide variety of ways.
And you know, if you're really drawn to food and your health or something along that way, it can feel like. Great and positive place, but again, reiterating where is it coming from? So one of the things, what people love CrossFit so much is actually the community that comes along with it and people really enjoy that component of it.
And so it's like, oh, I get it right. The community. And they're getting like adrenaline and endorphins while they're there. So like, it feels so good to have it. Absolutely. So find your community. If it involves food. Great. But check where it's coming from. Make sure you're not trying to use it as a disguise for, for diet, culture and excuses into perpetuating negative thoughts about yourself and food.
But again, we all could use a lot more community. Also checking in with how you feel. I have started following this young influencer on Instagram stinks, but she gives really good advice. And one of her thing was always checking with how something makes you feel and choosing the people, hang out with people that make you feel good about you.
And it's the same thing. The way that you're eating, hanging out in the food air arena, that makes you feel good about you. If you have to cheat or if you're feeling guilt or shame, like that's a good, check-in, that's a solid red flag. Like why here comparing if you're doing any of those. Yeah. So it's, you know, where is it coming from?
Is this feel good to me? If it does great keep going with it, that's fine. But if you're feeling anything a little off than me, Time to try something else, which is nothing, no labels. Well, let's move on to our weekly segment bullets each week, we keep our eyes peeled for things in the media or in real life that come from diet culture, or that perpetuated in some way.
These are often the subtle ways it seeps in, which is why we're shining a light on it and sharing it with you bath. What have you seen this week?
Out of the blue. I started getting Nutrisystem ads, the good old classic Nutrisystem. There is no celebrity currently in the Instagram version of these ads, but I haven't getting the interest system ads. Yes. But no, the one that I got was the shake. It's a new version of a shake. I'm getting both. And I don't mind the Nutrisystem ads because, well, I, mine.
But the new one that I got was a new version of what were those shakes them fast, but it's not SlimFast. It's something else. different companies, these little pod things. And I was like, that's what it sounds like. So brief, like, so it's like a concentrate, less packaging treated thing. And you know, you do this thing.
So then I was like, what is this? It was using a lot of language. Like, no yo-yo dieting eat delicious foods. It had all of the great things that we promises we in there. And I clicked on it cause I was like, oh, what is this? Cause I wanted to see it was. Shape the weight loss challenge and the thing underneath it was I'm a foodie junkie and have never been able to keep up with diets over time.
Sad face I hesitated for a long time before ordering my associate 14 day challenge, 14 day red flag. But I don't regret it. I filled up on sweet and savory flavors, chocolate cheese. I stayed motivated until the end because the results were visible quickly. And that's really motivating. I found my solution to lose weight when I feel like it.
And that's just so. Get results without lifting a finger. I mean, so many red flags all over the place. It is these little pods of shake. So I clicked into it and was like, what is this madness? And then you click into the shop now and it's like pants getting too tight. Why not change your food routine for five, 14 or 28 days?
Our challenge only has one simple rule. Swap your breakfast and dinner for associate shakes. Two meals a day. Yeah, you keep your lunch as you like it. So SlimFast, essentially what it is saying instead of a sensible dinner, they're doing a sensible lunch. So that was that. And then one of the things, so I was like, all right, what is it?
So you don't count calories. You're skipping two meals. Why would you even need to do it? Obviously there's no cooking or shopping, but I don't know how that's possible depending on what you're eating for lunch. And so then it's 240 calories a meal. No, I can literally breathe in to hurry. Then that's not a meal it's not.
And then avoid the yo-yo effect because it says by staying sensible after the challenge, of course, and we're always here if you need us, which means. Buy more of us. Yeah. How are they going to know what sensible is? Because they haven't learned anything in this, uh, avoid the yo-yo effect and I'm like, that's not possible.
So 440 calories. For divided up between two meals. And then where are they supposed to get the rest of their 1600 calories at lunch? Oh, give me a break. You'll never be bored. So apparently 12 flavors is enough for people to not be bored and then keep it your way. There's no genetically engineered ingredients.
One of the things that was there was like a soup. So if you didn't want the shake, there was like these soups. And then one of them was vegetable flavored soup. And I was like, what?
That's flavored. We're not going to put actual vegetables in it. It's just going to be vegetable flavor. Essence of the G they're telling you exactly what to do. They're giving you a timeline on it so that, you know, you can use your willpower for five, 10, or 14 days or whatever it was. And then you're in it.
You're getting told what to do and you don't have to think too hard and you don't have to better yourself in any way. And then when it's over, it's. And I'm like how no yo-yo effect. And I'm just like, I can't believe they just flat out lie. It is, there's no regulation on it. Nobody can say like, oh, you can't say that.
So they're just saying whatever they want to say, which is exactly the language that the Nutrisystem ad was saying. But yeah, there's no yoga. And my favorite of the Nutrisystem one, which was lose weight without giving up your favorite foods. It's always there. And then the comments, this one quote said, I feel like I'm cheating, but I'm not.
I think that one comes directly from marketing. Is that really a safe. Bullet point like, yeah. Oh, it does. It says premium meals designed to prevent yo-yo dieting. Apparently that's the thing that people want to hear is it's not a yo-yo diet because honestly, to me, that's like a good thing because it tells us that the diet culture is entering in, into this world enough to where they're trying to act like they're not a diet.
So in a way it's working there, you have it. We had two. 'cause they were so similar and they popped up around the same time. Well, now we're in some kind of algorithms, so that's fun. Perfect. I sure hope that we gave you something new to think about today and helped you take one more step on your path to freeing yourself from beg culture.
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